It's amazingly depressing when you realize how pointless it all is. That if you fell off the face of the earth tomorrow it wouldn't matter at all.

Sure a couple of people might be sad for a little while, but the truth is that the sadness would only be because they feel like they are supposed to be sad, if they never saw you again it really wouldn't matter. Sure they'll say that you matter and they want you around. It's the polite and politically correct thing to say. They never see you any more anyway and you might occasionally be part of a remember when story, but they have no real need for you in their lives anymore. They have their own lives, where at best your involvement is little more then a minor intrusion.

Once upon a time you had talent or at least the ability make others think you had talent in somethings. The truth is you know nothing and you have no real skills. Jack of all trades master of none. You know enough about many subjects, enough to be annoying to the few people that allow you hang around once in a blue moon. Yet you dont know enough about anything to make a decent living doing it and the desire to learn more becomes less and less every day.

Love, have you ever been loved romantically? You're at what's supposed to be the midpoint of your life, not married, never been married. Your longest relationship has been about a year, a little more. No one has been able to put up with you longer. You never even had the poor sense to knock someone up. There are no kids to look up to you, to share what little you know with, to depend on you for anything. Not that you could support them anyway.

No friends, no family, no career. Your life has been wasted and you've nothing to show for it except for someones occasional memory. Worse yet you are losing the energy, passion, and desire to do anything about it.

Hell, why did you even post this here? Its not like it will ever bee seen by anyone.

You can only hope that if there is a god, that they will put an end to this miserable life in this miserable world. Then you hope that you haven't done anything bad enough in this world, that in a future existence, if there is to be one, that you'll be punished with a  worse existence then the current one.